So you thought you were special ?

So you’re an MBA now, the child prodigy, always ahead of your age, proud to be your middle class parents over achieving child, with great expectations and a fancy education as a part of the numerous labels that adore your closet, you're made to believe you are special

***

Well...Cut to the corporate life…Major buzz kill. Reality Check...Life is no longer rainbows and butterflies. You’re probably living in an alien city away from home and friends with an existence which is as clichéd as it can possibly get…Your boss is always a psycho, the timings are always too long, weekends always seem to pass away too quickly…and you thought you were special...


Insignificant. Inadequate and Totally Expendable - Probably the only 3 adjectives that will define your work life from now...


Ironically, what seemed to be an attractive price to give your life away for, while you were being auctioned off to the highest bidder during your placements, seems to be a cruel joke now cause three weeks down the line you'll realize that even a high school can do what you're doing and Investment Banking is nothing but being a Glorified Clerk and before you know it, life will become an endless series of FMLs ~

1) Your resume is as hopeless as your last relationship :-/

2) You barely have the time to spend, yet you’re always bankrupt at the end of every month. Always

3) You work like an ass, get kicked like a mule.. Sitting in office till 10pm becomes a moral obligation

4) Its seems as if the whole universe is conspiring against you when you’re late for work in the morning

5) You’ve become an expert in handling hangovers (This includes you developing a new found respect for the discoverers of coffee)

6) Secret blogs like these become your personal diaries with Mondays as the most recurring topic of habitual cribbing while Facebook becomes your only hope…your last shot at any form of social life

7) Being constantly plugged into the wall with your boring desk job you are seriously contemplating to get yourself registered for one of those stem cell research programs, just in case you need vision restoration in the near future

8) The relative misery continues….and your peers ALWAYS seem to be having a better jobs, life's and pay packages…while you cant even remember the last time you had a date

9) 'Bad Day' by Daniel Powter becomes your almost daily anthem at work

10) Subway becomes your staple diet

11) You experience occasional umbilical whiplashes – the only thing that irritates you more than your bosses sarcastic looks are your moms digs at you getting married

12) Your midlife crisis seems to have pre-poned itself by a couple of decades

13) It suddenly hits you that anyone who has ever really cared about you is a million miles away and the only thing longer than your pending weekend to do list is your long distance phone bills

14) You conceptualize posts like these while you're pretending to work on an extremely important ppt in the post lunch hours to keep yorself from dozing off

15) You're not getting any younger, smarter or healthier. The worst part being you don’t even remember the last time, you were motivated, excited or even gave a shit about something

****

Well, anyway, im done with my cribbing for the day....No one said life would be easy in the first place and just maybe I am wherever I am for a reason....I mean, this may have not been the life that i had ordered for, but it is definitely a safe hideout -- till i can get back the strength to be on my feet again...And when i am, ill be ready to spin the bottle and start my journey towards where i am really meant to be...


# Dedicated to a friend who quit his job today and a friend whose psycho boss just wont let him go!

planktons...

"Planktons...more...some more ...and the lonely little you, left feeling empty...after each of them is gone....but life goes on you know... new people will come, better ones...but soon you'll be nothing but a mute observer, immune to things they say and do... see the thing about this hollowness is, that it never ends....."

-

Just let me walk away

while the pictures tear and burn

cause you need no answer-

I owe you no explanation

Let the questions be unasked

let the memories fade and rust

for i have touched you and passed-

pass by me too.

the chronicles of the supremely weird :-/

Okay So I'm kinda messed up about this one thing. And i cant make up my mind. Now I know that its hard to believe by the super depressive content in my blog but i am infact a NORMAL person !! I know i can be the biggest cribber around, but life has been infact more than kind to me. Sometimes i feel i have everything going right for me..you know, the bigger picture...and well, the small occasional breakdowns can always been taken care of right?

So basically i should just stop over thinking and put a sock in my mouth and be happy and ignore these lil things that are not so right and be all balanced and composed, right? But then i just cant stop freaking out !!! And recently, so many things are happening around me, and so fast that love,life and friendships have cock-tailed into this giant mess which can only be described as "The Supremely Weird" !!

Its hard to explain really ..bt sometimes you become so used to having some people around that you kinda miss them when they are not there, you know... a few people whom you love and hate at the same time ! i mean they piss the crap outta you but you just cant do without having them around !! weird !??? tell me about it ..!!!
Sometimes when too much of closeness is followed by cold and dry spells of distance and awkwardness (created by your own stupidity and confusion) you kinda miss them u know..but then you have too much of a goddamn ego to tell them that and you try and keep yourself super busy and pretend nothing is up at all !!!

I mean who cares right ?! you totally had a life before you met them !!!
So you try to go back to your old regime but now suddenly you discover..its not the same anymore...u've out grown all your old friends and nothing is good enough !!

I mean..i am surrounded by all these great set of people. and we are sharing some great laughs and good times....but its never really the same when i know that they are not the ones i wish were there with me...ccoz its not them that i miss...
Its this one person ive started connecting to recently... a person with whom i share some private jokes, you know...little things. unspoken things. silly things. Things which would not make any sense otherwise. but are special between us...

I mean its crazy right ?!! What is it, that these few people can possibly do to do?
How cool can they possibly be to make the past 20 years of your life before them seem irrelevant and stale !??!!!
Is it that you were probably just unaware of how great life could be or how miserable you were without having them around?!! And more importantly how the hell can let one person hurt you so easily like that ?!!

I mean they didnt ask you to..u just tagged them as friggin 'special' in the back of your head and put them in charge of that part of ur brains where they mess up emotions so friggin conveniently !!! How can one be soo friggin naive ?!!

I remember being the one preaching on how one shud 'suck it in and tuff it out' the loudest ! And now im wondering whatever happnd to the 'id rather put a bullet in my head than sulk over someone' attitude ?? Arrgggghhh !!! Stupid scumbag feelings !!! hate them !

Sigh.

As lame as the whole situation sounds, I guess emotions are a bit too complicated to be weighed by reason sometimes.... and just maybe, these people are worth all the emotional trauma...which by the way makes me wanna scream and turn around and run at these first signs of trouble !! (yeah, this is how it starts :-\)

Okay so i guess i do care a little more that i'd like to admit :-/

I really wish that i could keep the cynicism away for a day and take more chances in life...Be me for a change and not my insecurities...but it seems im becoming more and more clueless when comes to dealing with emotions with every passing day.

Arrgghhhh !!! Okhay tired of typing now and out of things to say anyway but still missing someone is SUPER lame n I cant believe its happening to me !

___


Disclaimer- There is absolutely no correlation between the authors thoughts that you get to read here and her actions in real life. She thinks shes too high and mighty and super cool to say words like 'i miss you' and 'i kinda care' which makes her life super complicated where she constantly has to fight and suppress her own feelings. I think shes on her way to a mental institution very soon.

Statuary Warning - Incase you know the author of this blog in real life, mentioning the content of her blog to her or trying to talk about it can be extremely dangerous to all your body parts. I mean seriously. Do not piss this woman off.


Peace.

love and other disasters.....

PETER: Jacks, have you ever thought this whole ‘True Love’ thing might be a conspiracy?

JACKS: A conspiracy?

PETER: Yeah, a capitalist conspiracy. A lie concocted by the Film, Publishing and Music industries. All pushing this thing, this concept that doesn’t even exist!

JACKS: True love doesn’t exist?

PETER: Well, think about it. Where is it besides songs, books and films? I mean who can honestly say ‘I will always love you’?

JACKS: Whitney Houston?

PETER: Yeah, when she’s high on crack.
The point is everyone’s miserable because they’re looking for this nonexistent thing, or else they’re miserable because they think they’ve settled for less.